Category: Gratitude

Freedom and Flourishing: Why We Need Both for a Good Life

5/5/2021

Freedom enables individuals to flourish in different ways, allows for growth of opportunities, and supports personal development by enabling individuals to exercise wise and well-informed self-direction.

My guest, economist Winton Bates, argues in a new book that Western freedom was more or less a happy accident of history. Loose it, and we may not get it back again.

We discuss the future of freedom, progress, personal growth, and a lot more in his new book, Freedom, Progress, and Human Flourishing.*

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What Surviving Coronavirus Taught Me About Life and Death

6/12/2020

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Jane Pauw, a 60-year-old pastor in Seattle, fell ill with coronavirus in March 2020. Pauw spoke of coronavirus as a darkness with a silver lining. Like Pauw, my family and I became sick with the coronavirus, and it was the most difficult thing that I have ever been through. (You can hear the story of my illness and recovery on Stoic Solutions Podcast, plus practical advice for if you get sick on my parenting blog.) Like Pauw, I also lived in a state of darkness as our illness and recovery dragged on and on.

In Alchemy, this state of darkness or blackness is called Nigredo. It is a stage of development which symbolizes the dark night of the soul, the shadow, all of our fears and failures. But Nigredo also symbolizes the fecundity of the earth, the black soil's potential for growth and rebirth, and opportunity waiting to be seized. Going through the darkness, we become more conscious of ourselves and the world around us.

Negative experiences contain tremendous potential for growth. They shake us out of our comfort zone, forcing us to confront out deepest fears so that we can emerge stronger and re-energized and face our future with more awareness and gratitude. Here is what surviving coronavirus has taught me about life and death:

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38 Life Lessons in 38 Years

4/13/2019

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I just celebrated my birthday, so I thought it would be a fun change of pace to write a post about what I have learned in almost 4 decades of life.

I don't want this to read as a list of regrets. Really a more positive take is that I'm hoping these 38 life lessons can help others!

1. Don't Waste So Much Time

Speaking of regrets, this is my biggest one. I wish I had spent more time on languages, musical instruments, and generally applying myself than on wasting time with friends, watching TV, etc. Life is short. Use your time wisely. You'll have less time when you start working, and even less for quite a while if you have children!

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5 Signs You Lack Gratitude According to Cicero

1/19/2017

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Marcus Tullius Cicero was a Roman philosopher, politician, lawyer, orator, political theorist, and constitutionalist. Cicero tried to lead by the example of his life, and by many accounts he was ethical, moderate, and constantly strove to better himself and gain knowledge. One of his more famous quotations comes from Pro Planico, a legal defense he mounted for a friend, in which he states:

"In truth, O judges, while I wish to be adorned with every virtue, yet there is nothing which I can esteem more highly than the being and appearing grateful. For this one virtue is not only the greatest, but is also the parent of all the other virtues."[1]

What does Cicero mean here when he says that gratitude is the parent of all other virtues? In the past, I have written about how having a grateful attitude can make you happier. Gratitude most certainly is a feeling of happiness or appreciation about benefits which you enjoy. But I doubt that Cicero saw gratitude as "only a stepping stone to personal happiness," to quote psychologist Robert Emmons.

In Pro Planico, Cicero sites the specific virtues arising from the positive feeling of gratitude, such as showing affection for one's parents, reverence, appreciation of friends, acts of kindness, and so forth. Gratitude often inspires us to do good things; this likely is what Cicero meant when he said that gratitude is the parent of all other virtues. Really it is fair to say that gratitude is both a happy feeling, and a behavior common to those of high moral standards. On the other hand, you are probably ungrateful if you do these 5 things:

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5 Signs You Lack Maturity According To Cicero

7/22/2016

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Marcus Tullius Cicero was a Roman philosopher, politician, lawyer, orator, political theorist, and constitutionalist.

Cicero lead by the example of his life, and by all accounts he was ethical, moderate, and constantly strove to better himself and gain knowledge. Like other Romans, he believed that we all have a duty to society, and he took his personal and civic responsibilities seriously.

Consequently he set a great example of maturity and personal growth, and his advice is worth taking seriously today. I have gathered some of his best quotes into the post below. You can be sure that regardless of your age, you lack maturity if you do these 5 things:

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6 Fool-Proof Ways to Create a More Relaxed Mental State

6/7/2014

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One reason that I study philosophy is that I’m a somewhat of a high-strung person by nature. I try to apply the lessons in my life.

What I have found is that when you have a relaxed inner life, you generally have a relaxed outer life. To put it another way, you choose to create the types of conditions in your environment which enhance your sense of relaxation and contentment. Even when stressful events happen, you choose to go with the flow and make the most of a bad situation, rather than panicking or dwelling on the negative aspects.

My experiences living in Hawaii for the past 2 months taught me several important lessons about being more laid back. Let me share what I have learned about creating a more relaxed attitude. Following the six steps listed below will put you firmly on the on the path to a more relaxed mental state.

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7 Behaviors That Lead To Lasting Happiness

4/10/2014

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Recently I was posting on a debate forum that I frequent, when another poster asked me if I read Spanish. (I don’t but I’m working on reading Latin). The person’s question really hit home for me, because I realized that by spending time posting on a forum, I was neglecting goals that are more important to me, like learning Latin.

We all do trivial things which take up our time unnecessarily, deplete our energy, steal our focus, or detract from our relationships with loved ones. Wasting time is just one of many behaviors that lead to unhappiness in the long run, when we fail to achieve our goals, or regret the things that we didn’t do. Instead, we should be cultivating these 7 intentional behaviors, which contribute to lasting happiness:

1. Learn From Your Mistakes

Failures and mistakes are ok, as long as you learn from them. You fell in love with the wrong person? It happens. You failed to achieve an important goal? Everyone who succeeds fails first. You made the wrong choice regarding an important decision? At least you came away from the experience more knowledgeable than when you started.

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Be afraid of repeating the same mistakes over and over again. When you make a mistake or something goes wrong in your life, ask yourself, what can I learn from this? What does this situation have to teach me?

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The Secret to Happiness: Stoic Gratitude and the Art of Living

1/23/2014

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Did you know that research in the field of positive psychology indicates that your level of happiness is at least 40 percent dependent on intentional activities within your control? With practice, you can significantly improve your overall happiness, even if your natural state is one of pessimism. You can work towards maximum stability and happiness in your life by practicing gratitude and the Stoic Art of Living.

Positive psychology focuses on the wellness and happiness aspects of mental health, rather than on mental illness alone. According to Dr. Robert Emmon's book, How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, psychological research shows that your “happiness quotient,” is about 50 percent dependent on a genetic set-point that you are born with. Some people are naturally more optimistic than others as a result of their set-point. An additional 10 percent of your happiness quotient is determined by external factors and circumstances in your life.

However, the other 40 percent of your happiness quotient is completely within your control, regardless of your genetic set point or external factors. Intentional happiness practices include taking time to count your blessings, displaying positive character traits such as friendliness and kindness, focusing on the present moment, and by keeping a daily gratitude journal where you express joy for all of the good things that happened to you that day.

Interestingly, this is not new information. The Stoic School of philosophy advocated a very similar perspective beginning 2400 years ago in ancient Greece. Many Stoic philosophers, including Zeno, Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius, developed a practical philosophy for increasing happiness and virtue, which they called The Art of Living.

Stoicism is way of life involving constant practice and introspective training, not just a set of philosophical beliefs. Stoics try to live happily and gratefully, regardless of external good fortune. They also aim to take control of their own inner natures, to know themselves, and to root out their destructive emotions in the pursuit of virtue, using a process of introspection or spiritual exercises loosely refered to as Stoic reflective practice.

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21 Traits of a Good Character

11/20/2013

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No one is born perfect. But the goods news is that we can all work to learn certain positive traits and behaviors that will improve our relationships, our happiness and our character. Cultivate this list of 21 personality traits that form the basis of a good character:

1. Generosity:

Generosity is the opposite of miserliness or cheapness. Generous people are giving towards others financially and interpersonally. Generous people are charitable. Charity is one of the five pillars of Islam, and is recognized as a virtue in Christianity an most other religions. When you think about generosity, money and material goods come to mind, but you can also be generous with your time, your friendship and your support of others. Generosity does not mean having no boundaries, being a pushover, or giving too much when you can't reasonably afford to do so.

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Freedom and Flourishing: Why We Need Both for a Good Life

What Surviving Coronavirus Taught Me About Life and Death

38 Life Lessons in 38 Years

5 Signs You Lack Gratitude According to Cicero

5 Signs You Lack Maturity According To Cicero

6 Fool-Proof Ways to Create a More Relaxed Mental State

7 Behaviors That Lead To Lasting Happiness

1. Learn From Your Mistakes

The Secret to Happiness: Stoic Gratitude and the Art of Living

21 Traits of a Good Character

1. Generosity:

Growing in Goodness

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1. Learn From Your Mistakes

1. Generosity:

Growing in Goodness

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