Category: Stoicism

Tranquility Parenting - Stoicism for Parents - Book Review & Video

3/31/2019

Tranquility Parenting: A Guide to Staying Calm, Mindful and Engaged, a just released book by Brittany Polat, offers lots of practical help and straightforward ways to overcome parenting challenges by implementing principles from Stoic philosophy within the family. I've been using some of the thoughtful techniques from the book already.

Her mantra for helping kids and parents deal with frustrations is "Don't get upset, just solve the problem." I think this is excellent advice for parents. Brittany expands on this by helping us to re-frame our value judgments in Stoic context. For example, rather than thinking "My kids are fighting, I can't believe I have to deal with this again," we should just drop the value judgement at the end of the sentence.

When we look at the situation in a factually oriented way, we think the same thing, "My kids are fighting," but minus the negativity. Then we are better able to deal calmly with the problem at hand. With practice, we can implement this advice over and over to make our lives as parents easier...

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A Meditation on Courage: 2 Techniques for Overcoming Anxiety

10/16/2018

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In an interview with the World Ethical Data Forum, Julian Assange warned that the generation being born now is the last to be free. The message is quite disturbing. After all, it does seem as though we are headed that way, that long shadows are falling. "Look back over the past with its changing empires that rose and fell, and you can forsee the future too," Marcus Aureluis declares. Is this period of time similar to the fall of Rome? Maybe just the end of the Republic?

Anxiety seems to be at the root of the modern condition. Besides the stress that we deal with in our private lives, there are always political and geopolitical concerns (like the above) that stress us as well. Given all of this, I actually don't think that anxiety is by any means an irrational response. It's only when our response is disproportionate to the threat or when anxiety starts to take over our lives that it really becomes a problem.

I can honestly say that with each new child that we have added to our family, my own anxiety has increased. After all, I have my family's wellbeing to look after, not just my own. Courage however, is a decision. It's how we respond to anxiety provoking thoughts that we have control over, not the external situation. Let me share with you the 2 best techniques that I use to overcome anxiety.

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Is Self-Compassion Missing From Stoic Philosophy?

9/1/2018

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Self-compassion is a common theme in Buddhism, psychotherapy, and various self-help ideaologies. But does it exist in Stoicism? Do Stoics expect themselves to always exercise perfect courage, justice, moderation and wisdom, while considering anything short of this ideal an abysmal failure?

My friend Jonas Salzgeber of NJ Life Hacks noted that self-compassion may be missing from Stoic philosophy when I interviewed him on my YouTube channel. Jonas is right that there certainly seems to be a tendency towards perfectionism in Stoicism. Reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, one would get the impression that Marcus was an awfully dour guy who beat himself up when he fell short of the ideal of the Stoic Sage.

But in spite of a strong tendency towards the perfectionism of the Sage, I believe that self-compassion is actually present in Stoicism, and that such self-compassion can give us strength and perspective.

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Fearless Parent: How to Raise Kids Using Stoic Philosophy

8/12/2018

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Wondering how to be less stressed as a parent? Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy that teaches us how to focus on what we can control in life. Brittany Polat of Apparent Stoic and I discuss how to apply Stoic philosophy to parenting, and how it can make both parents and kids happier.

We discuss:

Overcoming worry and parenting anxiety. Not worrying about what other people think of how you raise your children.
US culture being oriented towards adult lifestyles and careers and not very child friendly.
Thinking that you can control everything and being goal oriented does not work with kids because while you can influence them, you can't control what they do.
You will be happier as a parent/family if you focus on what you can control - the environment, how you respond, getting prepared in advance, etc.
The Golden Rule and other ways to teach kids the value of kindness.

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Video: The Best Philosophy Books For Beginning Readers

5/17/2018

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Which philosophy books are the best for people just starting out? Dr. Greg Sadler and I talk about his recent list of the 10 Best Philosophy Books for Beginners, which is now one of the most popular posts on this site.

We dicuss:

Which thinkers are average people most interested in?
The practical philosophy movement and popular philosophies like modern Stoicism and Aristotelianism that are currently being applied in people's lives.
Philosophy's relevance: the disconnect between academic versus applied philosophy, poor outreach among academic philosophers and the public.
Women philosophers - Greg's love of Mary Wollstonecraft, and why some people argue that Aynd Rand is not a philosopher.
Avoiding agenda-driven histories of philosophy and the importance of reading primary texts.
Poor pedagogy in introduction to philosophy classes - the difficulty of teaching, good versus bad teachers.
Existentialism: reading books of philosophy as a teenager and then again as an adult. What appeals to people?
Interesting tidbits about Anselm's On the Fall of the Devil and many other books.

If you like these types of videos please subscribe to my Youtube Channel.

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The Happiness Triangle: Stoic Secret for Peace of Mind Video

3/18/2018

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What 3 things are necessary for happiness? Leah Goldrick of http://commonsenseethics.com interviews Jonas Salzgeber of http://njlifehacks.com about how to become a tower of strength through Stoic philosophy. (Please note that if you have difficulty hearing the audio, click the "CC," button on the lower right of the Youtube screen to enable subtitles).

We dicuss:

Doing your best/focusing on the process of growth and developing virtue, rather than the outcome.
Is self-compassion missing from Stoic philosophy?
How much do externals/prefered indifferents matter? Is Aristotle correct that we need some externals to be happy or are the Stoics correct that only virtue is necessary for happiness?
Is the Sage a realistic role model?
What is eudamonia?
Jonas' new book

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Stoicism and Virtue in Family Culture: A Conversation

2/5/2018

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Common Sense Ethics is now on Youtube! Most parents struggle to get their parenting ideals to match their every day family life. In response to my post from December, Brittany Polat of apparentstoic.com interviews me about how to create an ideal family culture based on Stoic and other philosophical virtues. We discuss:

How to make your ideal family culture part of your daily routine without making yourself crazy.
What techniques have worked for our families.
The importance of norms and family culture versus parenting style.
Books for children and the importance of reading to them.
Family activities and traditions based on Stoic philosophy.

Please subscribe to the channel - we will be discussing many exciting topics going forward!

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4 Ways to Teach Kids Moderation in a Materialistic Society

8/11/2017

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How much is too much? One of my new favorite bloggers, Brittany Polat, deals with this question in a guest post originally published at Apparent Stoic:

I’ve never really thought of myself as a materialistic person. I’ve always worn inexpensive clothes, lived in modest dwellings, and tried to judge my companions by the quality of their character rather than the expensiveness of their possessions.

But when I had kids, my relationship with material goods suddenly changed. My husband and I found ourselves spending a lot of money on nursery furniture, baby gear, and diapers. Then we traded the old, small car for a new, reliable family car. We moved out of our small condo to a bigger house with a bigger yard near better schools. Without really stopping to think about it, we’ve always assumed we have to give our kids as much as we can afford, whether that means high-quality child care or dance lessons or memorable family vacations.

But one thing I’ve learned from Stoicism is that you should never blindly do things without stopping to think about them; you shouldn’t do something just because it seems right, or just because that’s what everyone else is doing.

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The 13 Types of Modern Stoics...Which One are You?

7/1/2017

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I'm happy to publish this guest post on the modern Stoic Renaissance by Piotr Stankiewicz, Ph.D., an author and teacher affiliated with the University of Warsaw. He authored a bestselling Polish handbook on Stoicism (“Sztuka życia według stoików”) which he is working on making available in English. He advances Stoic and non-Stoic agendas in his native Polish.

The problem of how Stoicism can be applied to contemporary life is not an easy one - there is no wide consensus. The question marks are plenty and easy solutions are nowhere to be found. People explore the Stoic possibilities of the 21st century in a plethora of ways and we can run into a great many types of modern Stoics out there. Thus, here is a travel companion, a short list of fellow Stoics. It’s by no means exhaustive, since I was only able to describe the paths I’ve travelled myself. And this allows a bit of (nonstoic?) exaggeration and humor – since it’s all on no one else but me.

So, what types of modern Stoics do we have?

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You Must Master the Media or the Media Will Master You

6/13/2017

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Being angry or depressed over news, politics, Donald Trump and so on, is extremely common at present. Emotions can be useful - they often tell us when something is wrong. But when we are angry or fearful we can't think critically; we just react. It takes intellect to actually break down information piece by piece (critical thinking) and find solutions. Emotionalism overrides proper intellectual process.

Even worse, when we allow ourselves to get upset or angry, we are no longer in control. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus reminds us that "Whoever is capable of angering you becomes your master." We can either master our response to information in the media, or allow it to take control of us via our emotions.

I'm a big fan of Lenon Honor and his work on positive relationships and raising emotionally healthy families. While listening to his channel on Youtube, I was struck by the Stoic overtones in this video (embedded below) and the similarities to my media series, especially 4 Pieces of Stoic Wisdom for Dealing With Negative News Media. While I wouldn't call him a Stoic, Lenon certainly has some philosophical things to say. Technically the video is about race, but overall it's about emotions and dealing with negative media and the subject matter is relevant to everyone. Give it watch!

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<<Previous

Tranquility Parenting - Stoicism for Parents - Book Review & Video

A Meditation on Courage: 2 Techniques for Overcoming Anxiety

Is Self-Compassion Missing From Stoic Philosophy?

Fearless Parent: How to Raise Kids Using Stoic Philosophy

Video: The Best Philosophy Books For Beginning Readers

The Happiness Triangle: Stoic Secret for Peace of Mind Video

Stoicism and Virtue in Family Culture: A Conversation

4 Ways to Teach Kids Moderation in a Materialistic Society

The 13 Types of Modern Stoics...Which One are You?

You Must Master the Media or the Media Will Master You

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Archives:

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Understanding and Applying Stoic Ethics In Modern Life:

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​Join the Stoic Parents Facebook Group:

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Follow Common Sense Ethics on Pinterest:

Join the Stoic Parents Facebook Group: