Category: Psychology

A Meditation on Courage: 2 Techniques for Overcoming Anxiety

10/16/2018

In an interview with the World Ethical Data Forum, Julian Assange warned that the generation being born now is the last to be free. The message is quite disturbing. After all, it does seem as though we are headed that way, that long shadows are falling. "Look back over the past with its changing empires that rose and fell, and you can forsee the future too," Marcus Aureluis declares. Is this period of time similar to the fall of Rome? Maybe just the end of the Republic?

Anxiety seems to be at the root of the modern condition. Besides the stress that we deal with in our private lives, there are always political and geopolitical concerns (like the above) that stress us as well. Given all of this, I actually don't think that anxiety is by any means an irrational response. It's only when our response is disproportionate to the threat or when anxiety starts to take over our lives that it really becomes a problem.

I can honestly say that with each new child that we have added to our family, my own anxiety has increased. After all, I have my family's wellbeing to look after, not just my own. Courage however, is a decision. It's how we respond to anxiety provoking thoughts that we have control over, not the external situation. Let me share with you the 2 best techniques that I use to overcome anxiety.

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How Can We Overcome Our Biases?

4/4/2018

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Why is it so hard to for us the change our beliefs or to get other people to change their minds? A new documentary film Right Between Your Ears, examines the science and psychology of how people form convictions. According to producer Kris De Meyer, a neuroscientist, certain aspects of human psychology make it very hard for us to be objective or unbiased.

People usually form beliefs by accepting what they've been told by someone they trust: parents, teachers, media and so on. Our beliefs can change when we learn new things. But when we become convinced of something, it is similar to a religious belief in the way our brain operates. We may react with anger when challenged. This human tendency often leads us to seek out information which confirms what we already believe and ignore everything else - it's a cognitive bias actually - called confirmation bias.

It seems obvious why confirmation bias can be a problem - it can prevent us making good decisions. It makes us rigid thinkers. Someone can easily fool us by simply appealing to our established belief systems. The good news is that there are some practical strategies to overcome this natural human shortsightedness that I'll let you in on at the end of the post.

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Stop Doing This if You Want to Be Happy

2/2/2017

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Have you ever felt like you would be so much happier as soon as you fulfilled some desire, only to end up unsatisfied soon afterwards? Why is it that getting something we want doesn't always make us consistently happy over the long term? What are we meant for? Merely the experience of pleasure, or something more profound?

Hedonic adaptation is the observed psychological tendency to revert back to prior levels of happiness soon after experiencing something pleasurable. The psychologists Brickman and Campbell began studying this phenomenon scientifically in the 1970s, calling it the Hedonic Treadmill. Hedonic adaptation accounts for our tendency to overestimate how happy pleasurable experiences will make us, and the fact that we tend to maintain a relatively stable level of happiness regardless of our material circumstances. It also explains our unfortunate human habit of taking what we have for granted.

Even though the Hedonic Treadmill was scientifically observed in recent history, it turns out that Kant possessed a remarkably similar insight into human psychology, simultaneously defining hedonic adaptation and changing the course of one man's life in an impromptu late night meeting in 1789.

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5 Insightful Ways to Identify and Change Your Character Flaws

11/5/2016

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Since I write about ethics, virtue, and character there has always been a possibility that someone will ask what exactly makes me so great. The answer is nothing. I have faults like everyone else. I am however, continuously working to discover and overcome my faults. It's important to do this type of ongoing self assessment if you have any real interest in improving your character.

In ancient philosophy, arete, translated as excellence or virtue, was often held as the goal of a lifetime. Excellence can be developed through insight and habit. It's important to have insight about your negative personality traits if you want to change them. Usually just a small part of your total personality is actively holding you back and keeping you from flourishing in life as you might if your faults were corrected.

Examining your own character flaws is actually not the easiest thing to do. We innately resist looking at our truly negative qualities as a matter of psychological self-preservation. So how can we identify and work with our own shortcomings? Uncovering your faults takes some maturity and courage. These 5 techniques inspired by the ancient philosophical tradition and Jungian psychology have helped me to gain more insight into my personal failings, and I hope they will be helpful to you as well.

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Is It Fantasy That a Happy Life is All About Pleasant Experiences?

7/11/2016

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A guest post by Winton Bates of Freedom and Flourishing:

It seems to me that the view that a happy life is just about pleasant experiences is a fantasy. I’m not saying that it is not desirable to have a life full of pleasant experiences, just that a happy life involves more than that.

In his famous thought experiment, Robert Nozick asked readers to imagine an experience machine that would give them any experience they desired. They would be able to select experiences from a large library and the machine would be pre-programmed to give them those experiences while they spent the rest of their lives floating in a tank (Anarchy, State and Utopia, 1971, pp 42-44).

Would you choose to spend the rest of your life hooked up to such a machine?

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Are You Suffering From Negative Socialization?

3/19/2016

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Since antiquity, inquiring minds have been calling into question the effects of being socialized into conformity with dominant cultural ideas or peer groups. Agents of socialization, both negative and positive, often include family, schools, peers, culture, media, and religion.

According to the Roman Stoic philosopher Musonius Rufus, humans are innately virtuous, but our nature is degraded from childhood by negative socialization. The dominant political and social environment is corrupting to the soul. Bad habits, unconsidered social norms, and negative views of "reality," that we pick up as we go through life, often impede our personal development.

By the time we reach adulthood, we all have accumulated beliefs that our culture imposes on us, including our views on money, pleasure, leisure, and entertainment. We may view minor inconveniences as a hardship, and fear things that are beyond our control. Even if our parents don't model this behavior, peers, the media, and the the culture at large often do. Living in society handicaps us in this regard.

Fortunately, developing a philosophical outlook can correct the effects of negative socialization. Musonius argued that “All of us are so fashioned by nature that we can live our lives free from error and nobly.” [1]

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5 Things That You "Owe" Your Child

3/12/2016

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As a writer, I read a great deal, both online and between the covers of books. Sometimes I encounter a blog post or story that inspires me, or that I feel the need to respond to. One such piece is Mom on the Move 35's post "10 Things You Don't 'Owe' Your Child."

The point of the article is that children aren't entitled to many of things that society typically considers to be good, including lots of material possessions, winning, gourmet food, and popularity. It's not that I disagree with the author, per se. It's that I want to add an addendum in the affirmative. If there are many things that you don't owe your child, then what do you owe them exactly?

Mom on the Move concludes that "Children are entitled to parents who will teach them the difference between the things in life they have to work for and the things in life that are given freely."

Since she doesn't expand on the topic, let's examine it further here. What does the classical philosophical tradition have to say about the things that parents should freely give to their children? Modern psychology? How about common sense?

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6 Reasons Why It Is Wrong to Spank Kids - Number 4 May Shock You

10/20/2015

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I was spanked as a child, but my husband and I don't plan on spanking our son. We have determined that spanking is not ethical or ok for our child and family. Children are people with rights of their own, and they should be treated with respect.

Spanking, or corporal punishment, is the intentional use of physical pain to control a child's behavior. Spanking carries more of a social stigma today than it once did. Corporal punishment is banned in public schools in 31 states. As of 2015, corporal punishment is actually illegal in 30 countries. However in recent polls of American parents, up to 70 percent spanked their children.

Corporal punishment is an important moral issue, because it is widespread among Americans and in the developing world. But why are many parents willing to sanction behaviors towards children that they would never sanction towards adults? Why is there a double standard at play when it comes to hitting kids, who are the smallest and most dependent of people?

Many parents who were spanked as children believe that it is fine to spank kids because they themselves turned out ok. However this is a poor argument and a logical fallacy (appeal to tradition or common practice). Thanks to various academic studies, much more is known today about about the psychological and behavioral consequences of spanking than was known in the past, and none of it is good. Parents should carefully consider the case against spanking before deciding whether or not to spank their children as a form of discipline:

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The Secret to Happiness: Stoic Gratitude and the Art of Living

1/23/2014

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Did you know that research in the field of positive psychology indicates that your level of happiness is at least 40 percent dependent on intentional activities within your control? With practice, you can significantly improve your overall happiness, even if your natural state is one of pessimism. You can work towards maximum stability and happiness in your life by practicing gratitude and the Stoic Art of Living.

Positive psychology focuses on the wellness and happiness aspects of mental health, rather than on mental illness alone. According to Dr. Robert Emmon's book, How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, psychological research shows that your “happiness quotient,” is about 50 percent dependent on a genetic set-point that you are born with. Some people are naturally more optimistic than others as a result of their set-point. An additional 10 percent of your happiness quotient is determined by external factors and circumstances in your life.

However, the other 40 percent of your happiness quotient is completely within your control, regardless of your genetic set point or external factors. Intentional happiness practices include taking time to count your blessings, displaying positive character traits such as friendliness and kindness, focusing on the present moment, and by keeping a daily gratitude journal where you express joy for all of the good things that happened to you that day.

Interestingly, this is not new information. The Stoic School of philosophy advocated a very similar perspective beginning 2400 years ago in ancient Greece. Many Stoic philosophers, including Zeno, Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius, developed a practical philosophy for increasing happiness and virtue, which they called The Art of Living.

Stoicism is way of life involving constant practice and introspective training, not just a set of philosophical beliefs. Stoics try to live happily and gratefully, regardless of external good fortune. They also aim to take control of their own inner natures, to know themselves, and to root out their destructive emotions in the pursuit of virtue, using a process of introspection or spiritual exercises loosely refered to as Stoic reflective practice.

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Breaking Bad's Secret Message: Actions Have Consequences

12/5/2013

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Most people watch television to be entertained. AMC’s popular series Breaking Bad, is a rare show which entertains and does something infinity more important; it examines serious moral issues in grave detail. Vince Gilligan, the creator of the show, stated, “If there’s a larger lesson to Breaking Bad, it's that actions have consequences.”

The actions in question often relate to the downward spiral of the show’s anti-hero, Walter White, who after a cancer diagnosis, goes from ordinary high school chemistry teacher to brilliant and violent meth kingpin. While overtly a modern Western about science, drugs, and criminality, Breaking Bad is secretly a moral treatise.

Widely touted as one of the best television series of all time, Breaking Bad concluded in September 2013. The show has also been criticized for its grittiness, cynicism and lack of humanity. There may be certain times when viewers will inevitably feel cynical because the show accurately portrays human failings, consequences and the tendency for self deceit. All moral choices are human, but some are just not pro-humanity. The show's deeper purpose is to realistically explore overarching themes of moral choice, personal conduct, responsibility, self-deception, and karma.

Note: if you have not seen the entire series, there are spoilers below.

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A Meditation on Courage: 2 Techniques for Overcoming Anxiety

How Can We Overcome Our Biases?

Stop Doing This if You Want to Be Happy

5 Insightful Ways to Identify and Change Your Character Flaws

Is It Fantasy That a Happy Life is All About Pleasant Experiences?

Are You Suffering From Negative Socialization?

5 Things That You "Owe" Your Child

6 Reasons Why It Is Wrong to Spank Kids - Number 4 May Shock You

The Secret to Happiness: Stoic Gratitude and the Art of Living

Breaking Bad's Secret Message: Actions Have Consequences

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About Me:

Most Popular Blog Posts:

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Topics:

Archives:

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Understanding and Applying Stoic Ethics In Modern Life:

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​Join the Stoic Parents Facebook Group:

Personal Growth Resources:

Follow Common Sense Ethics on Pinterest:

Join the Stoic Parents Facebook Group: