Category: Psychology

5 Things That You "Owe" Your Child

3/12/2016

As a writer, I read a great deal, both online and between the covers of books. Sometimes I encounter a blog post or story that inspires me, or that I feel the need to respond to. One such piece is Mom on the Move 35's post "10 Things You Don't 'Owe' Your Child."

The point of the article is that children aren't entitled to many of things that society typically considers to be good, including lots of material possessions, winning, gourmet food, and popularity. It's not that I disagree with the author, per se. It's that I want to add an addendum in the affirmative. If there are many things that you don't owe your child, then what do you owe them exactly?

Mom on the Move concludes that "Children are entitled to parents who will teach them the difference between the things in life they have to work for and the things in life that are given freely."

Since she doesn't expand on the topic, let's examine it further here. What does the classical philosophical tradition have to say about the things that parents should freely give to their children? Modern psychology? How about common sense?

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Are You Suffering From Negative Socialization?

1/5/2016

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Since antiquity, inquiring minds have been calling into question the effects of being socialized into conformity with dominant cultural ideas or peer groups. Agents of socialization, both negative and positive, often include family, schools, peers, culture, media, and religion.

According to the Roman Stoic philosopher Musonius Rufus, humans are innately virtuous, but our nature is degraded from childhood by negative socialization. The dominant political and social environment is corrupting to the soul. Bad habits, unconsidered social norms, and negative views of "reality," that we pick up as we go through life, often impede our personal development.

By the time we reach adulthood, we all have accumulated beliefs that our culture imposes on us, including our views on money, pleasure, leisure, and entertainment. We may view minor inconveniences as a hardship, and fear things that are beyond our control. Even if our parents don't model this behavior, peers, the media, and the the culture at large often do. Living in society handicaps us in this regard.

Fortunately, developing a philosophical outlook can correct the effects of negative socialization. Musonius argued that “All of us are so fashioned by nature that we can live our lives free from error and nobly.” [1]

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6 Reasons Why It Is Wrong to Spank Kids - Number 4 May Shock You

10/20/2015

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I was spanked as a child, but my husband and I don't plan on spanking our son. We have determined that spanking is not ethical or ok for our child and family. Children are people with rights of their own, and they should be treated with respect.

Spanking, or corporal punishment, is the intentional use of physical pain to control a child's behavior. Spanking carries more of a social stigma today than it once did. Corporal punishment is banned in public schools in 31 states. As of 2015, corporal punishment is actually illegal in 30 countries. However in recent polls of American parents, up to 70 percent spanked their children.

Corporal punishment is an important moral issue, because it is widespread among Americans and in the developing world. But why are many parents willing to sanction behaviors towards children that they would never sanction towards adults? Why is there a double standard at play when it comes to hitting kids, who are the smallest and most dependent of people?

Many parents who were spanked as children believe that it is fine to spank kids because they themselves turned out ok. However this is a poor argument and a logical fallacy (appeal to tradition or common practice). Thanks to various academic studies, much more is known today about about the psychological and behavioral consequences of spanking than was known in the past, and none of it is good. Parents should carefully consider the case against spanking before deciding whether or not to spank their children as a form of discipline:

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The Secret to Happiness: Stoic Gratitude and the Art of Living

1/23/2014

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Did you know that research in the field of positive psychology indicates that your level of happiness is at least 40 percent dependent on intentional activities within your control? With practice, you can significantly improve your overall happiness, even if your natural state is one of pessimism. You can work towards maximum stability and happiness in your life by practicing gratitude and the Stoic Art of Living.

Positive psychology focuses on the wellness and happiness aspects of mental health, rather than on mental illness alone. According to Dr. Robert Emmon's book, How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, psychological research shows that your “happiness quotient,” is about 50 percent dependent on a genetic set-point that you are born with. Some people are naturally more optimistic than others as a result of their set-point. An additional 10 percent of your happiness quotient is determined by external factors and circumstances in your life.

However, the other 40 percent of your happiness quotient is completely within your control, regardless of your genetic set point or external factors. Intentional happiness practices include taking time to count your blessings, displaying positive character traits such as friendliness and kindness, focusing on the present moment, and by keeping a daily gratitude journal where you express joy for all of the good things that happened to you that day.

Interestingly, this is not new information. The Stoic School of philosophy advocated a very similar perspective beginning 2400 years ago in ancient Greece. Many Stoic philosophers, including Zeno, Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius, developed a practical philosophy for increasing happiness and virtue, which they called The Art of Living.

Stoicism is way of life involving constant practice and introspective training, not just a set of philosophical beliefs. Stoics try to live happily and gratefully, regardless of external good fortune. They also aim to take control of their own inner natures, to know themselves, and to root out their destructive emotions in the pursuit of virtue, using a process of introspection or spiritual exercises loosely refered to as Stoic reflective practice.

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Breaking Bad's Secret Message: Actions Have Consequences

12/5/2013

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Most people watch television to be entertained. AMC’s popular series Breaking Bad, is a rare show which entertains and does something infinity more important; it examines serious moral issues in grave detail. Vince Gilligan, the creator of the show, stated, “If there’s a larger lesson to Breaking Bad, it's that actions have consequences.”

The actions in question often relate to the downward spiral of the show’s anti-hero, Walter White, who after a cancer diagnosis, goes from ordinary high school chemistry teacher to brilliant and violent meth kingpin. While overtly a modern Western about science, drugs, and criminality, Breaking Bad is secretly a moral treatise.

Widely touted as one of the best television series of all time, Breaking Bad concluded in September 2013. The show has also been criticized for its grittiness, cynicism and lack of humanity. There may be certain times when viewers will inevitably feel cynical because the show accurately portrays human failings, consequences and the tendency for self deceit. All moral choices are human, but some are just not pro-humanity. The show's deeper purpose is to realistically explore overarching themes of moral choice, personal conduct, responsibility, self-deception, and karma.

Note: if you have not seen the entire series, there are spoilers below.

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