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My Favorite Books: Simplicity Parenting By Kim John Payne

2/5/2022

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I’m always on the lookout for new information that will help me improve myself or allow me to give my kids the best childhood possible. That means is that I’ve read a good deal of parenting books!

I just finished reading Simplicity Parenting by Waldorf educator Kim John Payne. And well folks, it’s a keeper! In a nutshell, this book is for any parent who has watched their dreams for their kids slipping away amongst the overwhelming pace and expectations of family life today.

I was aware of this book for a while after watching some of Payne’s YouTube videos. Why the book never actively made its way onto my reading list is anybody’s guess. I think I had a baby and it fell off my radar! But fate intervened when I saw it for $1 at my library book sale.

I’ll do my best to summarize Simplicity Parenting for you below, and I highly recommend buying it or getting it at your local library.
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Virtues Reward Chart For Kids Printable

7/26/2021

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In June I participated in the Power To Care panel at Stoicon X Women: Practical Paths to Flourishing 2021. If you missed it, the whole event is available on YouTube. My panel begins at 1:28:13

During the conference, I mentioned that I use a virtues reward chart for my 6 year old son at home. Since there was a lot of interest in the chart, I created a free printable version for other parents to download, pictured above. You can download and print the virtues reward chart for kids PDF here: 
virtues_reward_chart_printable___1_.pdf
File Size: 103 kb
File Type: pdf
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Virtue Begins at Home With Intentional Family Culture

4/1/2021

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Brendan Malone, of Left Foot Media, a father of 5, gives wonderful tips on how to teach and model virtue to our children at home. One way to do this is to create an intentional family culture based on our specific moral values, that will act as a counterweight to the negative aspects of the culture that we find ourselves in.

How do we teach our children virtue? This issue was being discussed in a similar context back as far as the Enlightenment by thinkers like Locke and Rousseau. Rousseau thought that a parent's primary role is to be a buffer between their child and culture, rather than simply being an agent of the dominant culture. Rousseau described the insular and affectionate family that educated its own children as “the best counterpoison for bad morals.”

Support Common Sense Ethics to see even more videos like this:
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Brendan's Channels:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdou...​
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCp0w​...

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The Core Critical Thinking Skills Necessary For Independent Thought

2/14/2021

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I was recently interviewed by Brittany Polat about the core critical thinking skills necessary for independent thought on her website, Living In Agreement, and how Stoicism can help us to think more clearly about the world.

We discuss logic,
being slow to form opinions, having standards of evidence, separating truth from falsehood, being able to accurately evaluate other people's arguments, being open-minded, not being afraid to be wrong, changing your mind in light of better information, thinking with a degree of detachment, (rather than from a dogmatic or emotionally driven mindset) and a knowledge of cognitive bias and group dynamics.

Is there any group in which you automatically agree with all the opinions of the group? Are you in any group which views the “opposing” groups as evil, stupid, or weak? If so, some examination of your beliefs is probably in order. I suggest several ways to dig deeper and to think more independently throughout the course of this interview.

Books and resources to learn more about critical thinking:
https://www.commonsenseethics.com/blo...​
The Well-Trained Mind book I mention: https://amzn.to/3jLpAHq​ *affiliate link http://www.triviumeducation.com/study...​


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Major Announcement! My New Parenting Website is Live!

1/25/2020

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I've had something big in the works for a while that I'd like to share with you...announcing my new parenting website, Common Sense Mother!

For several years, I and various guests have written about philosophy and parenting here at Common Sense Ethics. However, not all CSE readers are parents, and (unfortunately) not all parents are are interested in philosophy. For this reason, I've wanted to launch a parenting site for a more "mainstream," audience. Common Sense Mother is that site.

Please head on over and check it out! If you like what you see, subscribe via the email opt-in there and share widely! You'll find helpful posts about creating a happy home, finding joy and motivation as a parent, overcoming stress, and managing the limited time that you do have well. My parenting philosophy is all about doing things intentionally, based on what you value most.

Of course I'll be continuing to publish new posts and videos here at Common Sense Ethics. This site is a labor of love that I've stuck with for more than 6 years! Thank you so much for your continued support! 

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7 Common End of Life Regrets - And How to Avoid Having Them

10/29/2019

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When we are children, we can't even imagine the end of our lives. As we grow up, we are often so busy with daily tasks that we forget to notice how quickly life is passing by. We don't allow ourselves to think much about death, because we imagine that we a still have time.

But the truth is that life is short. None of us knows how much time we have. In Plato's Phaedo, he introduces the idea that philosophy is "about nothing else but dying and being dead". The Stoics were also fond of this discipline, and Seneca's letters are full of injunctions to meditate on death. Thinking about death need not be negative. On the contrary, it may inspire us to live betters lives in the here and now.

According to Bronnie Ware, a hospice nurse from Australia, many of her dying patients expressed regrets over how their lives had played out. I've gone on to list 7 of these regrets below. Meditating on common regrets of the dying can help us to put our own lives into perspective before our time is up.



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Character Education is Up to Parents, Not Schools

7/31/2019

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Albert Einstein notably said that, “Most people think that it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong. It is character.” Einstein should know, because it was at his urging that Franklin D. Roosevelt initiated the Manhattan Project, which would develop the world’s first atomic bomb. Though he was not personally involved in the Manhattan Project, it was a decision which Einstein regretted his entire life – he was horrified by having contributed to the destruction that the bomb made possible. 

In my estimation, we are typically educated so that we will get into the right college and be successful monetarily. Far less emphasis is placed on developing a strong moral character, which is often only an afterthought. If intellectual achievement outpaces the development of moral character, we get a population of people bent on being smart and successful but not much concerned about the needs of others. 

How does someone develop moral character? I'll give you a hint; not in school. The largest scientific study conducted on the subject concluded that school-wide character education programs produce no improvements in student behavior or academic performance. Moral character develops in the family and through exposure to various life experiences. Parents therefore need to be intentional about character education for their children, and in this post, I’ll give some tips for how to do it.


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Tranquility Parenting - Stoicism for Parents - Book Review & Video

3/31/2019

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Tranquility Parenting: A Guide to Staying Calm, Mindful and Engaged, a just released book by Brittany Polat, offers lots of practical help and straightforward ways to overcome parenting challenges by implementing principles from Stoic philosophy within the family. I've been using some of the thoughtful techniques from the book already. 

Her mantra for helping kids and parents deal with frustrations is "Don't get upset, just solve the problem." I think this is excellent advice for parents. Brittany expands on this by helping us to re-frame our value judgments in Stoic context. For example, rather than thinking "My kids are fighting, I can't believe I have to deal with this again," we should just drop the value judgement at the end of the sentence.

When we look at the situation in a factually oriented way, we think the same thing, "My kids are fighting," but minus the negativity. Then we are better able to deal calmly with the problem at hand. With practice, we can implement this advice over and over to make our lives as parents easier... 

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Parents! Cut Yourselves a Break

2/16/2019

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Welcome Holly Hamilton-Bleakley, a philosophy professor and mother of six, to my YouTube channel! Holly is the author of the wonderful blog, Philosophy For Parents.
Here she shares wisdom gleaned from 20 years of motherhood and her extensive knowledge of philosophy. 

​We discuss:
  • The difficulty of becoming a parent for the first time.
  • How to best handle the challenges of parenthood. 
  • The strengths and virtues necessary for being a good parent.
  • How to slow down and cut yourself a break when you have little kids. 
  • Dealing with the feelings of impermanence that parenting brings.  
  • How the issue of raising children is ignored by most Western philosophers, and more.
​
You may also like:
Creating Your Ideal Family Culture
Fearless Parent: How to Raise Kids Using Stoic Philosophy 
Apply the Antidote: Teaching Kids to Deal With Problems 
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Fearless Parent: How to Raise Kids Using Stoic Philosophy

8/12/2018

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Wondering how to be less stressed as a parent? Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy that teaches us how to focus on what we can control in life. Brittany Polat of Apparent Stoic and I discuss how to apply Stoic philosophy to parenting, and how it can make both parents and kids happier.

We discuss:
  • Overcoming worry and parenting anxiety. Not worrying about what other people think of how you raise your children.
  • US culture being oriented towards adult lifestyles and careers and not very child friendly.
  • Thinking that you can control everything and being goal oriented does not work with kids because while you can influence them, you can't control what they do.
  • You will be happier as a parent/family if you focus on what you can control - the environment, how you respond, getting prepared in advance, etc.
  • The Golden Rule and other ways to teach kids the value of kindness. ​
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