No one is born perfect. But the goods news is that we can all work to learn certain positive traits and behaviors that will improve our relationships, our happiness and our character. Cultivate this list of 21 personality traits that form the basis of a good character:
1. Generosity:
Generosity is the opposite of miserliness or cheapness. Generous people are giving towards others financially and interpersonally. Generous people are charitable. Charity is one of the five pillars of Islam, and is recognized as a virtue in Christianity an most other religions. When you think about generosity, money and material goods come to mind, but you can also be generous with your time, your friendship and your support of others. Generosity does not mean having no boundaries, being a pushover, or giving too much when you can't reasonably afford to do so.
2. Idealism:
Idealism is the best macro level world view for a person of good character to have. It is certainly possible to be a pessimist and still have a good character as long as you adhere to a moral code. However, it is much harder for a pessimist to do the work necessary to change themselves and the world for the better, because their outlook on life is so self defeating. Optimism is a fine world view, but you have to avoid the inertia that comes from accepting that things are great as they are. Optimism is counter productive if you ignore the ways that you can improve both yourself and the world. Maybe everything in the world is as it should be, since every effect has its cause. But things in the world could be better than they are now! Idealists burn with a fire inside. They want the world to be the best that it possibly can be.
3. Empathy
Empathy is the ability to see yourself in the emotions and actions of others. Empathy is essential for being able to sympathize with the suffering of others and wanting to help when others are in need. Empaths have compassion for others who are less fortunate than they themselves are. You can be empathetic with other people's failings and foibles, while simultaneously acknowledging that they bear the responsibility and moral consequences of their own actions.
4. Ethics
I have said before that a free will chooses to live by rules that it gives to itself. People of character have an ethical code of conduct, and they try their best to stick to it. People of poor character either do not have a set of standards for their own person conduct, or they choose to ignore their moral code whenever it suits them. The result of not following a code of personal conduct, is that your actions are completely inconsistent at best and hurtful to others at worst. You may laugh with someone today, only to scream at them tomorrow because you are in a bad mood. If however, you have a moral code which precludes angry and aggressive behavior, and you try your best to follow it, you can avoid hurting people through unethical actions.
5. Humor
Humor makes life bearable and even happy. Laughter is enjoyable and scientific research indicates that it boots mood. The ability to see the humor in difficult situations is certainly a redeeming character trait. Most people like to laugh and enjoy being around others with a good sense of humor. Funny people may even find themselves laughing about something when they are alone. According to Mark Twain, humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
6. Self Discipline
Perseverance is another word for self discipline. Self discipline happens when you keep working towards the goals you want to achieve. It is also the act of governing your own daily behavior. You can read all the books on ethics that you want, but without self discipline, you have only an academic understanding. To know and not to do is not to know. Self disciplined people know what is right, and they choose govern their own behavior.
7. Humble Confidence
A person of good character should cultivate humility. Even if you are beautiful or successful, you would do well to remember that these things are transitory, so there is no need to be arrogant about them. You should empathize with people who lack your blessings or abilities, and you should not be envious of others who seem to be more fortunate that you are. This type of superficial comparison is the basis of all unhappiness and insecurity. While you should have reasonable confidence in yourself and your abilities, try be humble about your blessings and achievements. Remember that you are more than just the sum of these things.
8. Self Respect
People of good character have genuine self respect and do not tolerate poor treatment from others. When you respect yourself, you know your personal boundaries, and you enforce these boundaries when someone infringes on them. Say for example you have a friend who keeps coming over late at night to vent about her problems. You want to be kind and helpful to your friend, but her insistence on coming over late at night is keeping you up and making you tired at work the next day. You try being assertive and asking your friend not to come over unannounced past 8 PM, yet she keeps disrespecting your boundaries by coming over late. You can enforce your boundaries by informing her that you are about to go to bed, not opening the door to her, or even ending the friendship if her behavior is bad enough.
9. Assertiveness
Assertiveness is the result of humble confidence and self respect. When humble confidence is your typical mental state, assertiveness should be your modus opperendi. Assertive people don't place an inappropriate emphasis on their own needs, but they do speak up for themselves while still allowing others to have their say. Assertiveness is a balanced approach to communication between passivity and aggressiveness. When you are assertive, you don't allow people to walk all over you, but you also don't act in an aggressive or insulting manner whilst asserting your rights or expressing your wishes. When you cultivate assertiveness as a character trait, you speak up for yourself in a way that preserves the integrity of others.
10. Integrity
Integrity means the state of being whole and undivided. Personal integrity is a state of internal non-divison within yourself which can be archived by bringing your thoughts, emotions, and actions into harmony with each other. For example, you understand the necessity for virtue, you have a sincere desire to act virtuously, and so you choose to take virtuous actions. The external result of integrity is honor. Honor means doing the right thing even when it does not benefit you, because you refuse to betray your principles, your moral code, and yourself.
When you are in a disharmonious state, you are more likely to take actions which contradict your moral principles. Internal contradictions can be the result of traumatic experiences or of a failure of introspection. Whatever the cause, internal contradictions should be addressed through introspection.
When you are in a disharmonious state, you are more likely to take actions which contradict your moral principles. Internal contradictions can be the result of traumatic experiences or of a failure of introspection. Whatever the cause, internal contradictions should be addressed through introspection.
11. Introspection
Introspection is a habitual state or condition of being inwardly oriented. Introspective people place a great importance on understanding their own inner nature. This can be done in a variety of ways, such as reading, journaling, therapy, and character education resources like the ones on this website. The goal of introspection is to grow by looking at both your personal faults and attributes. Introspection can help you to understand your own behaviors and the deeper motivations behind them. Introspection can also help you accept and grow past the negative parts of your self.
12. Responsibility
When you are responsible, you do what needs to be done to in order to sustain yourself and your family. You also accept responsibility for all the choices that you have made in your life, whether negative or positive. Having a good character means taking responsibility for your actions, especially when you are wrong or when you have made a mistake. Responsibility also means taking initiative to improve your character by correcting faults and limitations. Responsible people build the lives that they want for themselves.
13. Courage
Courage is the capacity to do what needs to be done even when you are afraid. Being courageous can entail taking on difficult and unpopular subject matter. It can mean speaking up for what is right even if others disagree. It means not hiding from the truth, no matter how unpleasant. You must have courage to look at yourself and acknowledge your own failings. Having courage entails willingness to put fear aside. As Manly P. Hall said, fear is an unreasonable doubt in providence.
14. Patience
People of character should cultivate patience even if they were not particularly patient to begin with. Being patient with your family is essential if you ever want to live with anyone. Patience entails being tolerant of the speed at which other people do things, keeping an eye on the bigger picture and focusing on the end goal. Getting a task done properly is what matters, not how every second is spent. And when patience fails, assertive communication and boundaries should step in. Impatient people are the road-ragers of the world. They fail to realize that ultimate goal is to get to your destination safely, not to endanger others by getting there as fast as possible.
15. Egalitarianism
People of character treat others as equals entitled to fellowship regardless of their age, gender, position, race or religion. In other words, you recognize that other people all have equal individual rights; the same rights that you have, and you let your conduct reflect that understanding. According to the Standford Dictionary of Philosophy, “As currently used, the label “egalitarian” does not necessarily indicate that it is desirable that people's condition be made the same in any respect. An egalitarian might rather be one who maintains that people ought to be treated as equals—as possessing equal fundamental worth and dignity and as equally morally considerable.”
16. Non-Aggression
People of character should never initiate violence. It is important to understand that Non-aggression is not pacifism; you can be non-aggressive and still use force to defend yourself if someone violently attacks you. Non-aggression means that you do not initiate acts of intimidation, abuse, theft, coercion or violence against others. A non-aggressive person prevents their egoistic will from running roughshod over their environment and the rights of others. I have previously discussed the universal immorality of violating the individual rights of other people. It is impossible to purposefully violate other people's rights when you cultivate non-aggression as a character trait.
17. Kindness
Simple kindness is an undervalued but much needed trait in the modern world. Kindness means that you generally treat other people well through your personal conduct. Kindness can be expressed by acknowledging others and asking about their day or their opinion. Kind people are nice to their family, friends, colleagues, and strangers that they meet on the street. They are helpful and courteous to others, while maintaining self respect and reasonable personal boundaries.
18. Receptivity
Receptivity is the quality of having a general curiosity about life and being open to new ideas. Ever heard the saying “Leaders are always readers,”? It may sound cliché, but people who are generally curious and zealous about acquiring knowledge are more likely to become intellectual leaders. Not that intellectual people are always moral; some most definitely are not. But being receptive often leads you to question the state of things, and to find workable solutions to problems. Real personal growth happens through curiosity about yourself and about the world. Receptive people continuously questionstheir own conclusions and they never stop learning. Receptivity is an indispensable trait for a person of good character to develop.
19. Critical Thinking
Critical thinking takes receptivity a step further. All the curiosity and intellectuality in the world won't help you very much if you can be easily deceived. That is where critical thinking comes in. Critical thinkers possess a set of skills which can be learned, including open-mindedness, the ability to reason, and the perseverance to seek out all available facts on an issue. Critical thinkers have the presence of mind to always consider the other side, or sides, of any argument. They do not reason from conclusions and instead draw conclusions only after gathering facts. They are able to suspend their belief structure in order to look at many subjects without cognitive dissonance. They rely on their own judgment and do not follow leaders, politicians, or gurus, because it is easy to be deceived once you put faith in a leader. People of character need critical thinking skills so that they are not blind to the truth.
20. Honesty
No list of good character traits would be complete without honesty. Truth is whatever has happened or is currently happening. Being honest means telling the truth. Lying completely assassinates your character because if you are caught lying even once, people think that you cannot be trusted about anything. Dishonesty is a much worse action than simply loosing your temper once or twice. You can apologize for occasionally loosing it if you were stressed out, but lying calls your entire moral fabric and integrity into question. Lying by omission is also unethical, because people are entitled to all the relevant facts in order to make a reasonable decision.
21. Gratitude
Gratitude is a most favorable trait to cultivate. It is the state of feeling fulfilled and happy about the things that re going right in your life. According to research by individuals the Positive Psychology movement, such as Robert Emmons, grateful people tend to be happier and live longer than ungrateful people. They are often more pleasant to be around as well. According to Emmons, you can raise your level of gratitude and satisfaction by taking time each day to count your blessings.
The Stoic philosophers of ancient Greece and Rome took gratitude even further. They were grateful even for misfortunes. Misfortunes can sometimes be opportunities in disguise, as they can present great opportunities to learn and to change direction in life.
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This post was included in the Finding Personal Peace Blog Carnival!
The Stoic philosophers of ancient Greece and Rome took gratitude even further. They were grateful even for misfortunes. Misfortunes can sometimes be opportunities in disguise, as they can present great opportunities to learn and to change direction in life.
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This post was included in the Finding Personal Peace Blog Carnival!
