Jane Pauw, a 60-year-old pastor in Seattle, fell ill with coronavirus in March 2020. Pauw spoke of coronavirus as a darkness with a silver lining. Like Pauw, my family and I became sick with the coronavirus, and it was the most difficult thing that I have ever been through. (You can hear the story of my illness and recovery on Stoic Solutions Podcast, plus practical advice for if you get sick on my parenting blog.) Like Pauw, I also lived in a state of darkness as our illness and recovery dragged on and on.
In Alchemy, this state of darkness or blackness is called Nigredo. It is a stage of development which symbolizes the dark night of the soul, the shadow, all of our fears and failures. But Nigredo also symbolizes the fecundity of the earth, the black soil's potential for growth and rebirth, and opportunity waiting to be seized. Going through the darkness, we become more conscious of ourselves and the world around us.
Negative experiences contain tremendous potential for growth. They shake us out of our comfort zone, forcing us to confront out deepest fears so that we can emerge stronger and re-energized and face our future with more awareness and gratitude. Here is what surviving coronavirus has taught me about life and death:
In Alchemy, this state of darkness or blackness is called Nigredo. It is a stage of development which symbolizes the dark night of the soul, the shadow, all of our fears and failures. But Nigredo also symbolizes the fecundity of the earth, the black soil's potential for growth and rebirth, and opportunity waiting to be seized. Going through the darkness, we become more conscious of ourselves and the world around us.
Negative experiences contain tremendous potential for growth. They shake us out of our comfort zone, forcing us to confront out deepest fears so that we can emerge stronger and re-energized and face our future with more awareness and gratitude. Here is what surviving coronavirus has taught me about life and death:
Life
Nothing is guaranteed. It can seem like a certain number of years or a certain future is promised to us, that we are owed a series of tomorrows that are very much like today. And we may grieve if we don't get what we feel we is coming to us.
Such grief proves that what came before, that what we experienced, was meaningful and cherished. Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost if we grew from it, if it taught us something.
Life is short. In our youth we can never quite bring ourselves to believe it. But approaching middle age, we are forced to dispense with the heroic thinking that characterizes young adulthood as we understand that we may not yet realize every one of our dreams. There just isn't time to do it all. Our time and attention is priceless, and we must be mindful of where and how we spend it. We must prioritize what is most important.
When we prioritize what is most important, we are invited to turn within and work on ourselves, and to stop expecting so much of the world. After all, the world is out of our control. But we can change ourselves, we can grow into the fullness of what we are meant to be - the best version of ourselves - doing good by ourselves and by others.
Such grief proves that what came before, that what we experienced, was meaningful and cherished. Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost if we grew from it, if it taught us something.
Life is short. In our youth we can never quite bring ourselves to believe it. But approaching middle age, we are forced to dispense with the heroic thinking that characterizes young adulthood as we understand that we may not yet realize every one of our dreams. There just isn't time to do it all. Our time and attention is priceless, and we must be mindful of where and how we spend it. We must prioritize what is most important.
When we prioritize what is most important, we are invited to turn within and work on ourselves, and to stop expecting so much of the world. After all, the world is out of our control. But we can change ourselves, we can grow into the fullness of what we are meant to be - the best version of ourselves - doing good by ourselves and by others.
Death
One of my favorite philosophers, Roger Scruton, died of cancer earlier this year. Before he passed, Scruton wrote last December, “Coming close to death, you begin to know what life means, and what it means is gratitude.”
Illness makes us reflect on our own aging process, our mortality. We are confronted with a grim awareness of time and finality. But being mindful of our eventual death, or Memento Mori, is the greatest motivator for us to do our best today and not put things off for the future. You never know what could happen. That future could never come.
Facing death forces us to reflect on our past conduct and imagine how we can improve ourselves in the time that is left to us. Doing out best means being as virtuous as we can be today. So long as we live, we still have time to work on ourselves, to improve our character, which will eventually be our legacy.
So, as Scruton says, be grateful. Be grateful for today. Be grateful for peace. For knowledge. For love. For all the little things that make for a lifetime of growth and fulfillment.
~
Read Next:
Hope, Courage and Grattitude During Covid-19
Would You Risk Your Life For Philosophy?
7 Common End Of Life Regrets And How to Avoid Having Them
Illness makes us reflect on our own aging process, our mortality. We are confronted with a grim awareness of time and finality. But being mindful of our eventual death, or Memento Mori, is the greatest motivator for us to do our best today and not put things off for the future. You never know what could happen. That future could never come.
Facing death forces us to reflect on our past conduct and imagine how we can improve ourselves in the time that is left to us. Doing out best means being as virtuous as we can be today. So long as we live, we still have time to work on ourselves, to improve our character, which will eventually be our legacy.
So, as Scruton says, be grateful. Be grateful for today. Be grateful for peace. For knowledge. For love. For all the little things that make for a lifetime of growth and fulfillment.
~
Read Next:
Hope, Courage and Grattitude During Covid-19
Would You Risk Your Life For Philosophy?
7 Common End Of Life Regrets And How to Avoid Having Them
