When we are children, we can't even imagine the end of our lives. As we grow up, we are often so busy with daily tasks that we forget to notice how quickly life is passing by. We don't allow ourselves to think much about death, because we imagine that we a still have time.
But the truth is that life is short. None of us knows how much time we have. In Plato's Phaedo, he introduces the idea that philosophy is "about nothing else but dying and being dead". The Stoics were also fond of this discipline, and Seneca's letters are full of injunctions to meditate on death. Thinking about death need not be negative. On the contrary, it may inspire us to live betters lives in the here and now.
According to Bronnie Ware, a hospice nurse from Australia, many of her dying patients expressed regrets over how their lives had played out. I've gone on to list 7 of these regrets below. Meditating on common regrets of the dying can help us to put our own lives into perspective before our time is up.
But the truth is that life is short. None of us knows how much time we have. In Plato's Phaedo, he introduces the idea that philosophy is "about nothing else but dying and being dead". The Stoics were also fond of this discipline, and Seneca's letters are full of injunctions to meditate on death. Thinking about death need not be negative. On the contrary, it may inspire us to live betters lives in the here and now.
According to Bronnie Ware, a hospice nurse from Australia, many of her dying patients expressed regrets over how their lives had played out. I've gone on to list 7 of these regrets below. Meditating on common regrets of the dying can help us to put our own lives into perspective before our time is up.
A good exercise is to imagine if you were to die tomorrow. Think about what is most important to you. What would regret having done or not having done based on how your life is today? Now, how can you change your priorities to ensure that you eliminate having to deal with those potential regrets as you grow older?
1. Not Taking Better Care of Your Health When You Had the Chance
It makes complete sense that people dying from an illness often wish they’d done more to stay healthy, from eating better and sleeping more to seeing their doctor sooner. To avoid this regret, make your health a top priority. Do the best that you can to eat right. Stay active. Take time each day to de-stress and prioritize sleep. See your family doctor for checkups or unusual symptoms. You’ll be doing a favor for yourself and your loved ones.
2. Taking Life For Granted
This common regret can partly be the result of the chronic busyness I mentioned earlier. When we are running around trying to get things done or wasting time on our smartphones we are not deeply engaging with life or matters of ultimate importance. Our life may be passing by without us appreciating it. Tune in and notice your surroundings. The happiness of life is made up of little things. A child's smile, the most beautiful movement of a symphony, the afternoon sunlight falling through the window. There is beauty everywhere. Cherish it. Be grateful for your blessings.
3. Not Telling Loved Ones How You Felt Enough
This regret could include not speaking up about both positive and negative feelings. Tell your family you love them often. And make sure to speak up for yourself if you are unhappy with someone's behavior rather than just bottling up your feelings. Discussing negative feelings doesn't have to cause arguments if you speak constructively and tactfully, with the goal of solving the problem. Focus on your own feelings rather than blaming the other person, and take ownership of your own contributions to the problem.
4. Worrying Too Much
Many people regret wasting time and energy worrying about things they couldn’t control. They realize, too late, that they missed opportunities for happiness and productivity because they were too stressed and anxious. Remind yourself that that many things are beyond your control and that worrying is a choice.
5. Not Being A Better Mother or Father
At the end of their lives, many people regret not being a good enough parent. It's understandable - parenting is hard and all of us are imperfect. But you need to do the best you can with your children when they are little because you can't go back and do their childhood over again later. And the stakes are high if you get it wrong. This includes spending as much time with your children as possible and teaching them to do more things. I've written a lot about being intentional in creating a family culture that will benefit your children. Also, check out my videos about becoming a better parent on my YouTube Channel:
6. Not Having Enough Confidence In Yourself
Many of us lack confidence because of past negative experiences. We may feel that we don't measure up to someone's impossibly high standards. While such feelings of inadequacy are understandable, we can't change the past. We are the only ones who can transform our present situation, instead of blaming people or circumstances for not being favorable. Developing more confidence is certainly within our control. Aristotle essentially thought that in order to overcome habit and develop strength of character, you can use a fake it till you make it approach to growth. It takes confidence to start something and it takes courage to change things about your life that you aren't happy with. Do it now, unless you want to live with this regret in the future.
7. Not Doing More For Others
Many people wish they’d spent more time making a difference in the world. But it’s never too late to start. That could even be something as simple as staring a blog and sharing helpful advice. Choose a cause that’s meaningful to you, and give a little of your time or money. Then you won't leave here without having helped to make the work a better place.
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Read Next:
38 Life Lessons in 38 Years
The Secret to Building a Close Family
The Most Powerful Tool for Living Your Best Life
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Read Next:
38 Life Lessons in 38 Years
The Secret to Building a Close Family
The Most Powerful Tool for Living Your Best Life
