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Psychopathy, Antisocial People & How to Protect Yourself

10/12/2023

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Most of us just want to be decent people, lead good lives and be happy. But there is an irreconcilable fact that antisocial and predatory people - psychopaths and sociopaths - walk among us. Robert Hare, PhD, argues that 1 percent of people are psychopaths, while the clinical psychologist Martha Stout puts the figure closer to 4 percent of the population. These individuals often have Cluster-B traits such as anti-social personality disorder.  

The presence of predatory and antisocial individuals in the general population is a major problem for several reasons. First, anti-social people inflict a lot of damage on other people and society at large. Second, psychopathy especially is studied far less than other clinical disorders. And finally, most people are not trained to identify individuals with psychopathy and other antisocial personality disorders, and some do not, or will not, even acknowledge its sinister presence in others at all.  

​None of us are completely immune from the manipulative or aggressive behavior of antisocial personality types. 
It turns out that good, regular people tend to have a lot of blind spots when it comes to evaluating the character of others, identifying antisocial behavior, assessing risk, and determining who to trust. Even if you pride yourself on being a good judge of character, crime statistics show that the majority of people are often wrong. I've come across a lot of helpful expert information on how to protect yourself that I'll share with you in this post. Here's how to be a better judge of character:


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7 Common End of Life Regrets - And How to Avoid Having Them

10/29/2019

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When we are children, we can't even imagine the end of our lives. As we grow up, we are often so busy with daily tasks that we forget to notice how quickly life is passing by. We don't allow ourselves to think much about death, because we imagine that we a still have time.

But the truth is that life is short. None of us knows how much time we have. In Plato's Phaedo, he introduces the idea that philosophy is "about nothing else but dying and being dead". The Stoics were also fond of this discipline, and Seneca's letters are full of injunctions to meditate on death. Thinking about death need not be negative. On the contrary, it may inspire us to live betters lives in the here and now.

According to Bronnie Ware, a hospice nurse from Australia, many of her dying patients expressed regrets over how their lives had played out. I've gone on to list 7 of these regrets below. Meditating on common regrets of the dying can help us to put our own lives into perspective before our time is up.



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The 6 Mistakes of Man According to Cicero

9/30/2019

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One of the many interesting things attributed to the Roman statesman Cicero is a fragment called "The Six Mistakes of Man." It isn't entirely clear whether he actually wrote it, but since I'm a fan of all things Ciceronian, I thought it would nonetheless make for an interesting blog post in my According to Cicero series.

Studying the Six Mistakes is a good idea since regardless of authorship, they are perennially applicable. Life can be so much easier of we don't sabotage ourselves with unnecessary errors! 
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According to Cicero the six mistakes that people seem to keep making throughout history are:
 


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This Is What Happens If You Are Not Nice to People...Number 3 Will Amaze You

8/5/2014

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While it is probably impossible to prevent all interpersonal conflict, many problems can generally be prevented by being “nice,” which is a simplified term for ethical conduct, kindness, and good character. You will have fewer interpersonal problems in your life if you are as mindful as possible of your own behavior, meaning that you don’t thoughtlessly say and do things that harm others.

I’m actually not the most tactful person by nature. But I have learned from direct experience that improving my tact and self control largely leads to freedom from self inflicted interpersonal problems. What does that mean? Well, the more that you consciously govern your behavior, the less you will say and do things that you regret or that ultimately sabotage your relationships and your happiness.

There are steps that you can take to increase your tact in conversations, and control your own behavior. If these steps do not prevent most conflicts, you still have a right to point out the mistakes and limitations of others if their behavior is hurting you. The downside to free will is that people can misuse it to harm others. People have a right to be wrong, just not to do wrong. Which is why it is essential to have strong personal boundaries when dealing with difficult or unethical people in your life. Here’s How: 



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Evil in the Hearts of Men: Pacifism and Ethics in Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire

4/3/2014

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HBO's acclaimed Game of Thrones is often regarded as being one of the best shows on television. In anticipation of the Season 4 premier this Sunday, I am focusing on the popular epic fantasy series which the show is based on, A Song of Ice and Fire, by George R. R. Martin.

​The books are known for portraying an exceptionally violent rendition of life in the Middle Ages, to which many people ascribe the famous Hobbesian maxim, “Life is nasty, brutish, and short.” What may not be readily apparent to both readers and TV show viewers, is that there is strong evidence suggesting that Martin is in fact actually trying to convey a non-aggressive or pacifist message, more consistent with his own conscientious beliefs, than a cynical or Hobbesian perspective.


In creative writing, the gold standard is “show, don't tell.” Martin does this so well and so subtly, that many people are not even aware of the novel's pacifist themes. In fact, many readers assume the opposite. Both the novel and the TV show have often been criticized for being too violent. There is a good deal of rage, bloodshed, war, cruelty, death, tragedy, rape, incest, profanity and sex. On account of this fact, it's no wonder that some derive a cynical or “everyone is evil” mindset from the books and show. However, Martin has stated that he wants to make A Song of Ice and Fire realistic like the Middle Ages and real life. Some people tend to mistake this realism for proof of the novel's amorality, but it is not actually amoral.

Ironically, you don't often come to higher order understanding about non-aggression or ethics by refusing to address the fact that people are capable of aggressive and unethical acts, and that there are consequences to such actions. (Before you continue reading, please note that this essay contains mild book 1-3 spoilers, and Season 1-4 TV show spoilers.)



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Why Every Political and Economic System Eventually Fails, and What You Can Do About It

2/21/2014

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We may believe that some political parties, economics systems or types of government are inherently more moral or pragmatic than others. This essay will not be refuting that claim. Rather, I argue that regardless of the organic value of various economic and political systems, they are all eventually doomed to corruption, oligarchy and failure if the people involved in them are not ethical. In other words; ethics always come first.

According to Aristotle, the Nichomachian view is that we must look at virtue and  character in politics. Governments, political parties, communities, and economic systems are extensions of us. They reflect our values and our behaviors. Ethics is the lynchpin on which everything in human society depends. If we are unethical personally, and if society is unethical in the aggregate, then of course we will never have a moral system, no matter how authoritarian or anti-authoritarian, capitalist or communist, left or right the system is inherently.

Changing the system as a whole won't solve the underlying problem until we get at the root of the specific causes; namely our own behavior. People who are unethical will continue to be unethical regardless of political party, after a revolution, change of government, or in an alternate economic paradigm. We must treat the disease itself, not just the symptoms. We are the source of the problem, and as such, we must change. Consider the following quote from The Matrix, "It is not the spoon that bends, but yourself." 

The solution is to change yourself. Adopt and practice a balanced code of ethics,  educate yourself and others, and act locally in your own community to effect positive change.


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4 Big Mistakes That Ruin Your Character

2/14/2014

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Mistakes are an inevitable part of life. While some mistakes can build character, other mistakes detract from character. You’ll want to avoid these 4 big mistakes which tend to negatively alter the way that people see you:

1. Lying

Nothing ruins your character more quickly than lying. According to psychologist George Simon, “lying is one of the many tactics by which a person avoids taking responsibility for behavior while simultaneously attempting to manipulate or manage the impression of others.” If someone lies to you even once, your confidence in that person’s sincerity and character has been lost for the foreseeable future. You no longer trust a liar or give them the benefit of the doubt.

What about white lies? If you are tempted to lie in order to protect someone's feelings, consider that assertive communication goes a long way, since many white lies are based on opinions, not facts. If someone asks “Does this dress make me look fat?” any response that you give is just your opinion, so there is no need to be offensive. You can choose to respond assertively in a way which protects someone's feelings, such as, “I think the other dress is the most flattering, but that is just my opinion.”



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The Secret to Happiness: Stoic Gratitude and the Art of Living

1/23/2014

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Did you know that research in the field of positive psychology indicates that your level of happiness is at least 40 percent dependent on intentional activities within your control? With practice, you can significantly improve your overall happiness, even if your natural state is one of pessimism. You can work towards maximum stability and happiness in your life by practicing gratitude and the Stoic Art of Living. 
 
Positive psychology focuses on the wellness and happiness aspects of mental health, rather than on mental illness alone. According to Dr. Robert Emmon's book, How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, psychological research shows that your “happiness quotient,” is about 50 percent dependent on a genetic set-point that you are born with. Some people are naturally more optimistic than others as a result of their set-point. An additional 10 percent of your happiness quotient is determined by external factors and circumstances in your life.

However, the other 40 percent of your happiness quotient is completely within your control, regardless of your genetic set point or external factors. Intentional happiness practices include taking time to count your blessings, displaying positive character traits such as friendliness and kindness, focusing on the present moment, and by keeping a daily gratitude journal where you express joy for all of the good things that happened to you that day.

Interestingly, this is not new information. The Stoic School of philosophy advocated a very similar perspective beginning 2400 years ago in ancient Greece. Many Stoic philosophers, including Zeno, Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius, developed a practical philosophy for increasing happiness and virtue, which they called The Art of Living.

Stoicism is way of life involving constant practice and introspective training, not just a set of philosophical beliefs. Stoics try to live happily and gratefully, regardless of external good fortune. They also aim to take control of their own inner natures, to know themselves, and to root out their destructive emotions in the pursuit of virtue, using a process of introspection or spiritual exercises loosely refered to as Stoic reflective practice.



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Breaking Bad's Secret Message: Actions Have Consequences 

12/5/2013

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Most people watch television to be entertained. AMC’s popular series Breaking Bad, is a rare show which entertains and does something infinity more important; it examines serious moral issues in grave detail. Vince Gilligan, the creator of the show, stated, “If there’s a larger lesson to Breaking Bad, it's that actions have consequences.”

The actions in question often relate to the downward spiral of the show’s anti-hero, Walter White, who after a cancer diagnosis, goes from ordinary high school chemistry teacher to brilliant and violent meth kingpin. While overtly a modern Western about science, drugs, and criminality, Breaking Bad is secretly a moral treatise.

Widely touted as one of the best television series of all time, Breaking Bad concluded in September 2013. The show has also been criticized for its grittiness, cynicism and lack of humanity. There may be certain times when viewers will inevitably feel cynical because the show accurately portrays human failings, consequences and the tendency for self deceit. All moral choices are human, but some are just not pro-humanity. The show's deeper purpose is to realistically explore overarching themes of moral choice, personal conduct, responsibility, self-deception, and karma.

Note: if you have not seen the entire series, there are spoilers below.



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What Everyone Needs to Know About Violence and Self-Defense 

11/30/2013

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In my experience, many people do not have a well thought out position regarding interpersonal violence and self defense. The prevalent attitude seems to vary between two extremes; a naive type of pacifism on one hand, or a let's get em’ type of aggression on the other. Both positions are unreasonable in different ways.

This post provides a deeper examination of the ethics of violence and self defense. 
I explain why neither pro-aggression positions or naive pacifist positions on the ethics of violence are ideal, and I posit a third approach, non-aggression, which I argue is the most ethical. 
When properly understood, non-aggression and forceful self-defense are not morally incompatible.

A corollary is that Most Westerners who believe in extreme pacifism when it comes to individual self defense do so naively. Very few people, even some thinkers credited with advocating for extreme pacifism for political purposes, actually believe in it on an individual level. A careful study reveals that Thoreau, and Martin Luther King, and at least one Buddhist sect, advocate individual self-defensive force as moral, necessary and courageous. Even Ghandi, who is not typically a reasonable pacifist, has moments where he admits to the necessity of self defense for individuals, particularly for those who aren't spiritually committed to self-immolation as he is. 

This makes sense, of course, because the need for self defense will persist until everyone in the world non-aggressive. Therefore, the most pragmatic and ethical position is one of conscious non-initiation of violence, which at the same time does not preclude forceful self-defense if necessary. 


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    Thank you for your interest in Common Sense Ethics! I'm Leah, a librarian and freelance editor with a background in history and philosophy.
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