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Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Online Course and Book Review

2/28/2023

I just finished taking an in-depth 12 week parenting course, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, that I have really benefited from, and I'd like to share more about it with you. Laura Markham, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, and founder of the Aha! Parenting website, based her approach "Peaceful Parenting." As a longtime reader of Dr. Laura's website, I'm very excited to be able to review both the course and Dr. Laura's book!

The Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids course teaches parents to coach and connect with their children while better regulating their own (parental) emotions. Both course and book provide many strategies on how to have a more positive, cooperative relationship with your children. The course offers detailed strategies and information, plus weekly audio lectures, daily meditations to help rewire your brain, and homework. Interestingly, this parenting philosophy is very compatible with Stoicism, which also seeks better emotional regulation.

In this post, I've written a full review of the course including key concepts, who will benefit from it, plus benefits and drawbacks of this parenting approach. If you're interested, but not enough to commit to a 12 week course, the key concepts are all addressed in Dr. Laura's book, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting available on Amazon.*

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5 Insightful Ways to Identify and Change Your Character Flaws

11/5/2016

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Since I write about ethics, virtue, and character there has always been a possibility that someone will ask what exactly makes me so great. The answer is nothing. I have faults like everyone else. I am however, continuously working to discover and overcome my faults. It's important to do this type of ongoing self assessment if you have any real interest in improving your character.

In ancient philosophy, arete, translated as excellence or virtue, was often held as the goal of a lifetime. Excellence can be developed through insight and habit. It's important to have insight about your negative personality traits if you want to change them. Usually just a small part of your total personality is actively holding you back and keeping you from flourishing in life as you might if your faults were corrected.

Examining your own character flaws is actually not the easiest thing to do. We innately resist looking at our truly negative qualities as a matter of psychological self-preservation. So how can we identify and work with our own shortcomings? Uncovering your faults takes some maturity and courage. These 5 techniques inspired by the ancient philosophical tradition and Jungian psychology have helped me to gain more insight into my personal failings, and I hope they will be helpful to you as well.

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6 Fool-Proof Ways to Create a More Relaxed Mental State

6/7/2014

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One reason that I study philosophy is that I’m a somewhat of a high-strung person by nature. I try to apply the lessons in my life.

What I have found is that when you have a relaxed inner life, you generally have a relaxed outer life. To put it another way, you choose to create the types of conditions in your environment which enhance your sense of relaxation and contentment. Even when stressful events happen, you choose to go with the flow and make the most of a bad situation, rather than panicking or dwelling on the negative aspects.

My experiences living in Hawaii for the past 2 months taught me several important lessons about being more laid back. Let me share what I have learned about creating a more relaxed attitude. Following the six steps listed below will put you firmly on the on the path to a more relaxed mental state.

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7 Behaviors That Lead To Lasting Happiness

4/10/2014

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Recently I was posting on a debate forum that I frequent, when another poster asked me if I read Spanish. (I don’t but I’m working on reading Latin). The person’s question really hit home for me, because I realized that by spending time posting on a forum, I was neglecting goals that are more important to me, like learning Latin.

We all do trivial things which take up our time unnecessarily, deplete our energy, steal our focus, or detract from our relationships with loved ones. Wasting time is just one of many behaviors that lead to unhappiness in the long run, when we fail to achieve our goals, or regret the things that we didn’t do. Instead, we should be cultivating these 7 intentional behaviors, which contribute to lasting happiness:

1. Learn From Your Mistakes

Failures and mistakes are ok, as long as you learn from them. You fell in love with the wrong person? It happens. You failed to achieve an important goal? Everyone who succeeds fails first. You made the wrong choice regarding an important decision? At least you came away from the experience more knowledgeable than when you started.

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Be afraid of repeating the same mistakes over and over again. When you make a mistake or something goes wrong in your life, ask yourself, what can I learn from this? What does this situation have to teach me?

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Breaking Bad's Secret Message: Actions Have Consequences

12/5/2013

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Most people watch television to be entertained. AMC’s popular series Breaking Bad, is a rare show which entertains and does something infinity more important; it examines serious moral issues in grave detail. Vince Gilligan, the creator of the show, stated, “If there’s a larger lesson to Breaking Bad, it's that actions have consequences.”

The actions in question often relate to the downward spiral of the show’s anti-hero, Walter White, who after a cancer diagnosis, goes from ordinary high school chemistry teacher to brilliant and violent meth kingpin. While overtly a modern Western about science, drugs, and criminality, Breaking Bad is secretly a moral treatise.

Widely touted as one of the best television series of all time, Breaking Bad concluded in September 2013. The show has also been criticized for its grittiness, cynicism and lack of humanity. There may be certain times when viewers will inevitably feel cynical because the show accurately portrays human failings, consequences and the tendency for self deceit. All moral choices are human, but some are just not pro-humanity. The show's deeper purpose is to realistically explore overarching themes of moral choice, personal conduct, responsibility, self-deception, and karma.

Note: if you have not seen the entire series, there are spoilers below.

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The Shadow: How Introspection Can Teach You Everything You Need to Know About Yourself

9/25/2013

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It is basically an inevitable condition of living that you are going to screw up at some point. Even the most ethical people occasionally let their guard down and make mistakes. What differentiates some people from others, however, is the desire to take personal responsibility for mistakes, learn from them, and move past them. Many people have good intentions, but they fall short of being able to really change. A mistake or a fault is a thing that we must face whether it is happy or not. The process of correcting faults and improving your character has historically been called the Great Work.

Some people handle mistakes by convincing themselves that whatever happened wasn’t their fault, blaming others, or trying to forget about the situation altogether. The desire to ignore our faults and mistakes is strong because society teaches us to reject rather than embrace certain negative qualities. However, ignoring our mistakes can make things more difficult in the long run because if we do not learn from our mistakes, we may end up repeating them.

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