Category: Personal Development

38 Life Lessons in 38 Years

4/13/2019

I just celebrated my birthday, so I thought it would be a fun change of pace to write a post about what I have learned in almost 4 decades of life.

I don't want this to read as a list of regrets. Really a more positive take is that I'm hoping these 38 life lessons can help others!

1. Don't Waste So Much Time

Speaking of regrets, this is my biggest one. I wish I had spent more time on languages, musical instruments, and generally applying myself than on wasting time with friends, watching TV, etc. Life is short. Use your time wisely. You'll have less time when you start working, and even less for quite a while if you have children!

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Tranquility Parenting - Stoicism for Parents - Book Review & Video

3/31/2019

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Tranquility Parenting: A Guide to Staying Calm, Mindful and Engaged, a just released book by Brittany Polat, offers lots of practical help and straightforward ways to overcome parenting challenges by implementing principles from Stoic philosophy within the family. I've been using some of the thoughtful techniques from the book already.

Her mantra for helping kids and parents deal with frustrations is "Don't get upset, just solve the problem." I think this is excellent advice for parents. Brittany expands on this by helping us to re-frame our value judgments in Stoic context. For example, rather than thinking "My kids are fighting, I can't believe I have to deal with this again," we should just drop the value judgement at the end of the sentence.

When we look at the situation in a factually oriented way, we think the same thing, "My kids are fighting," but minus the negativity. Then we are better able to deal calmly with the problem at hand. With practice, we can implement this advice over and over to make our lives as parents easier...

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Is Self-Compassion Missing From Stoic Philosophy?

9/1/2018

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Self-compassion is a common theme in Buddhism, psychotherapy, and various self-help ideaologies. But does it exist in Stoicism? Do Stoics expect themselves to always exercise perfect courage, justice, moderation and wisdom, while considering anything short of this ideal an abysmal failure?

My friend Jonas Salzgeber of NJ Life Hacks noted that self-compassion may be missing from Stoic philosophy when I interviewed him on my YouTube channel. Jonas is right that there certainly seems to be a tendency towards perfectionism in Stoicism. Reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, one would get the impression that Marcus was an awfully dour guy who beat himself up when he fell short of the ideal of the Stoic Sage.

But in spite of a strong tendency towards the perfectionism of the Sage, I believe that self-compassion is actually present in Stoicism, and that such self-compassion can give us strength and perspective.

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The Most Powerful Tool For Living Your Best Life

6/20/2018

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Right now is an amazing time to be alive; not least because because we have instant access to so many helpful resources to achieve the goal of living a good life - books, blogs, videos, digital downloads - the possibilities for learning and personal growth are endless.

My friend Jonas Salzgeber recently commented on the phenomenon where we take the time to learn things that will improve our lives, yet fail to properly apply them. In my experience, a major obstacle to putting what we have learned into practice is information overload and it's accompanying disorganization (not just the force of old habit or the lack of will to change - although these are major obstacles too!) Without proper organization and memorization, what sticks in our head after reading a good book or watching an interesting video is piecemeal. It's a matter of chance whether we remember and apply it, despite our best intentions.

The ancient schools of philosophy had their own solution to this problem - handbooks. These were collections of useful and powerful phrases that the students memorized and kept close "at hand," for when they were most needed - in instances of challenge, stress, or trouble. As we'll see, the handbook is the most powerful tool in our arsenal for growth - both an organizational aid for our hectic lives, and a method for directly improving our habits and thinking.

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Why You Should Get Your Crap Together Before Becoming Politically Active

11/20/2017

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Most of us want to think that we are a force for good in the world. But if we haven't done a lot of introspective work aimed at overcoming our own faults, it might be safer to assume that we are actually a force for chaos. Becoming virtuous usually involves self-discipline and a lot of difficult introspection.

Aristotle teaches us that those who are enslaved to passions, who never rise above their animal natures by practicing the virtues, do not have the most worthwhile opinions. Anger clouds good judgement. Those who exercise reason and attain practical wisdom on how to best live their own lives, order their household, and finally, when sufficiently wise and mature, should ideally venture opinions on how to best order the political community.

Jordan Peterson is a Canadian psychologist and professor at the University of Toronto. Peterson echos both Aristotle and the same sentiment that I wrote about in my post A Revolution Inside. He argues that unless we both understand and have control of our own negative qualities (or shadow self) we will project our worst impulses into the political arena while wearing a "mask of virtue." We need to work on ourselves first if we want to be an effective force for good and not end up doing more harm. If we want to see the world change, we must first concern ourselves with healing our own lives.

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How To Be a Badass According to Cicero

7/27/2017

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I'm often impressed by the fortitude displayed by some of the philosophers and statesmen of the Classical world. Socrates, Musonius Rufus, Seneca, Cato, and many others faced incredible challenges. The magnitude of the events they experienced – war, imprisonment, exile, the untimely death of loved ones, political assassination and so forth, make most of my problems seem inconsequential.

The Roman statesman Cicero is no exception. Cicero is remembered more for having been a great orator, interpreter of Greek philosophy, and a philosopher in his own right, rather than an as iron-willed sage or near sage like the Stoic Cato the younger. Yet Cicero seems to have been tough enough in the face of hardship. He was exiled, betrayed by his longtime wife, endured the sudden untimely death of his favorite daughter, and was eventually assassinated on account of his support for the Republic and opposition to Caesar and Mark Anthony.

Cicero was named an enemy of the state, yet he enjoyed popular support and was hidden from his persecutors for a time. When they finally caught up with him, he is reported to have said, “There is nothing proper about what you are doing, soldier, but do try to kill me properly.” He bowed to his captors, leaning his head out in a gladiatorial gesture indicating that he wouldn't resist.[1]

That sounds pretty tough to me. Cicero tried to subordinate the intellectual or theoretical exercise of philosophy to a life of virtuous practice.[2] He was an unceasing supporter of the Republic and fearless when faced with his own death. It is on this basis – considering the example Cicero set by his actions – that we might learn something about being mentally strong from his eclectic philosophy. Here are 5 great pieces of advice on fortitude from Cicero's mouth:

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Applying Stoicism When Life Gets Tough

6/3/2017

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I'm excited to share this guest post written by Travis Hume of Applying Stoicism. Travis is a special education paraprofessional. He writes daily on practical applications of Stoic philosophy for the modern day, based upon first-hand real-world experiences.

This article explores how to implement Stoicism to life’s difficulties, including the nature and origin of emotions, and the judgments that bring rise to them. My primary purpose is a deeper understanding of the psychological process we act upon on a moment-to-moment basis.

The goal, at the very least, is an improvement in control over our reactions to difficulties, and greater inner breathing room to develop a measured response to emotions. Establishing a deeper understanding of our psychological process may lead to life-long changes in behavior that sets us on a path towards Eudaimonia - a state of self-actualization, excellence, fulfillment, and flourishing as a human being.

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Wise Advice on Human Flourishing in 10 Terrific Quotes

5/1/2017

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This guest post was first published at Freedom and Flourishing by my friend Winton Bates, who curated the following wise advice based on his vast knowledge and life experience:

The quotes selected for this post are related specifically to individual flourishing or personal development. I will follow this up later with a selection of quotes relating to the social conditions that favour human flourishing.

Rather than selecting the most inspirational quotes I can think of, I have selected quotes that seem to support what I hope is a coherent set of propositions about human flourishing.

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The Revolution Inside

1/7/2017

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Peace and justice are two goals which the politically inclined often seek, but they are simultaneously inner qualities which a philosophical person must posses, not just external conditions which we would like to see in the world. If we want to see the world change we must first concern ourselves with healing our own lives.

In Xenophon's Memoirs of Socrates, Hippias tells Socrates that instead of always asking questions about justice, he would do better simply to say, once and for all, what justice is. Socrates replies: "If I don't reveal my views on justice in words, I do so by my conduct." A modern parallel to Socrates' statement can be found in Martin Luther King's quote, "Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal.”

What Socrates wanted to show is that we can never understand justice if we do not live it. King similarly noted that we won't achieve peace through our actions if outwardly we are irrationally angry and inwardly we are a mess of anxiety and nuerosis. We can't expect the world to give us better than we give the world.

In antiquity, philosophy was a way of life akin to therapy or care of the soul. Socrates, the Cynics, Aristotle, the Epicureans and the Stoics all stressed that we can achieve autarkia, or inner freedom independent of external events.[1] Autarkia is a self-sufficiency and peace of mind where we feel that we lack nothing, relying on our inner resources. To be liberated, we must turn our attention to the revolution within and to what we can control; our thoughts, emotions, and actions. In order to obtain autarkia or inner freedom, we must train ourselves for it.

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How to Make Yourself Immune to Propaganda

11/30/2016

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In the current climate of increased political tension, it's important to be two things: open-minded and not easily angered. Why? Because being closed-minded, irrational, or both makes you more vulnerable to propaganda.

The French philosopher Jaques Ellul literally wrote the book on propaganda methods throughout history and around the world.[1] Ellul examines propaganda as an existing sociological phenomenon in modern technological societies. One of his most important contributions is the distinction which he draws between agitation and integration propaganda.

Agitation propaganda appeals to anger and anti-social tendencies. Integration propaganda is subtle and perpetual; it speaks to our fundamental anxiety and our need to be part of the mass. In this post I'll explain both types of propaganda and elaborate on how you can make yourself less vulnerable to their effects.

Unchecked exposure to propaganda - even in a democratic society - tends to make people psychologically totalitarian. Propaganda works against dialog, towards belief systems which benefit the system as a whole, but make it genuinely hard for us to live together. So how do we avoid being influenced by propaganda? In short, by being a reasonable person.

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<<Previous

38 Life Lessons in 38 Years

Tranquility Parenting - Stoicism for Parents - Book Review & Video

Is Self-Compassion Missing From Stoic Philosophy?

The Most Powerful Tool For Living Your Best Life

Why You Should Get Your Crap Together Before Becoming Politically Active

How To Be a Badass According to Cicero

Applying Stoicism When Life Gets Tough

Wise Advice on Human Flourishing in 10 Terrific Quotes

The Revolution Inside

How to Make Yourself Immune to Propaganda

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