Category: Culture

Fearless Parent: How to Raise Kids Using Stoic Philosophy

8/12/2018

Wondering how to be less stressed as a parent? Stoicism is an ancient Greek philosophy that teaches us how to focus on what we can control in life. Brittany Polat of Apparent Stoic and I discuss how to apply Stoic philosophy to parenting, and how it can make both parents and kids happier.

We discuss:

Overcoming worry and parenting anxiety. Not worrying about what other people think of how you raise your children.
US culture being oriented towards adult lifestyles and careers and not very child friendly.
Thinking that you can control everything and being goal oriented does not work with kids because while you can influence them, you can't control what they do.
You will be happier as a parent/family if you focus on what you can control - the environment, how you respond, getting prepared in advance, etc.
The Golden Rule and other ways to teach kids the value of kindness.

2 Comments

Creating Your Ideal Family Culture

12/19/2017

0 Comments

With the holidays coming up, many of us are focused on family. My recent post Why You Should Create Your Own Culture to Be Happier prompted a discussion on the Stoic Parents Facebook group about how to create a family culture. Family culture, (defined as the way that a group of people think, feel, act and achieve common goals) is tremendously influential. Creating an ideal culture for your family is something that must be done intentionally. Otherwise you will probably operate in default mode just trying to get things done each day since life with kids tends to be busy:

"Parents must decide what quality of family life they will have and then use the necessary discipline to accomplish this. Otherwise life will push the family in diverse directions...Those parents who have carefully examined their values and their view of life are going to be those whose influence on their children is most consistent. Why? Because what they believe is important to them...Our priorities are determined by our values." - Gladys Hunt, Honey for a Child's Heart.

You don't get a second chance at raising your children. Brainstorm what you ideally want for your family life, write it down, and then be disciplined enough to implement it. Build the various aspects of your ideal family culture into your routine and they will come naturally. It may help to think about your ideal family culture in terms of these four broad categories:

0 Comments

Why You Should Create Your Own Culture to Be Happier

10/23/2017

5 Comments

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the nonsense bombarding us daily. Sometimes I think that mainstream American culture leaves a lot to be desired. Whenever I get disgusted, I'm reminded of Terrance McKenna's instructions:

“Culture is not your friend. Culture is for other people’s convenience and the convenience of various institutions, churches, companies, tax collection schemes, what have you. Culture insults you. It uses and abuses you. None of us are treated well by culture...We have to create culture, don’t watch TV, don’t read magazines, don’t even listen to NPR. Create your own roadshow.”

McKenna is saying that if you don't consciously build your own meaningful culture in your life, it will be determined for you by dominant personalities, media, propaganda, peers, advertising, and all kinds of other capricious influences who have no business being in your head and determining your preferences and actions.

Life is short, and progress towards virtue is often time consuming and hard won. You should be very selective about what you devote your precious and limited time to. If you want to be happier, cut out expressions of culture that sabotage your happiness and personal growth, and deliberately create your own personal culture of beauty and meaning based on your values, rather than on other peoples'.

5 Comments

The Social Justice Warrior Paradox

9/3/2016

11 Comments

Do we have an obligation to be good, community minded citizens and to act accordingly? The simple answer is yes, but the full answer is more complicated, so please bear with me for a second.

I received some mildly critical feedback on my most recent post: 4 Pieces of Stoic Wisdom For Dealing With Negative News Media. (Nothing too harsh of course - this blog has polite readers!) The objections are with my suggestion that we should tune out news media entirely or almost entirely if we want equanimity. Those who commented, argued that Stoics (and presumably non-Stoics) have a duty to act socially and politically, and that ignoring the news smacks of self-interested isolation in the Epicurean Garden.

So, what is the problem with staying informed via news media, you ask? Isn't that what we are supposed to do in a democracy? There are two parts to this question which warrant a response. First, there is the problem of social and political action, ostensibly based on the information we get via media. In other words, what should we "do about," current issues? Second, there is the problem of the information itself - with the quality and manipulation of news and mass media - which I will go on to address in part 3 of this series.

Do social and political actions really have any effect? Can taking such actions be harmful? Do we have a duty to stay informed? Well yes...and no. It all boils down to the question of what do you plan on doing with the information you get from the news. There are certainly more and less ethical and effective ways to create a better community and a better world, so I have also included some helpful suggestions at the end of the post:

11 Comments

4 Pieces of Stoic Wisdom For Dealing With Negative News Media

8/24/2016

4 Comments

News headlines, predominantly negative and sensational, dominate our lives. We are barraged with news information 24/7 through our smart phones, social media, TV, websites, papers, and magazines. What is the consumption of news media doing to our brain and our outlook on life? Should we choose to avoid the news altogether?

It’s is not a new question to be asking. 2000 years ago, the Roman Stoic philosopher Musonius Rufus questioned the effects that negative forms of socialization have in our lives. We, as philosophers, should not worry about the things that most people do as a result of their constant consumption of news media.

“How could we acquire courage if we had merely learned that the things which seem dreadful to the average person are not to be feared, but had no experience in showing courage in the face of such things?” he asks.

You too can exercise the Stoics' ancient brand of philosophical wisdom and not get upset about events in the news. Terrorism? A shooting? Crisis? Corrupt Politicians? Freedom from these concerns can be yours via these 4 important realizations:

4 Comments

Solomon Kane: Must See Fantasy Flick About the Surprising Paradox of Nonviolence

2/19/2016

10 Comments

While doing research for this post, I came across the unusual phrase "A lasting peace, through the judicious use of the spear." This phrase perfectly sums up the salient moral message in Solomon Kane, an independent Sword and Sorcery film about a Puritan vigilante sworn to fight evil in 16th Century England.

Far from being another film full of gratuitous violence, Solomon Kane explores a rather profound ethical question: when does adherence to nonviolence trump the moral and personal obligation to protect your life, or the lives of your family, from immanent harm?

Solomon Kane offers an unexpected axiom on the paradox of nonviolent philosophy. Pacifism is undoubtedly a philosophy arising from a selfless desire to not harm others. Pacifists view all violence as a moral failing. But paradoxically, the failure to protect others from immanent rape, murder, etc, when in a position to do so, leads to them being harmed. Under certain circumstances, nonviolence is actually a selfish philosophy, rather than a selfless philosophy.

In a world where evil people rape and murder, forceful opposition to violence is not only pragmatic, it necessary and moral. The most pragmatic and ethical position is nonaggression, rather than nonviolence.

10 Comments

Are You Suffering From Negative Socialization?

1/5/2016

1 Comment

Since antiquity, inquiring minds have been calling into question the effects of being socialized into conformity with dominant cultural ideas or peer groups. Agents of socialization, both negative and positive, often include family, schools, peers, culture, media, and religion.

According to the Roman Stoic philosopher Musonius Rufus, humans are innately virtuous, but our nature is degraded from childhood by negative socialization. The dominant political and social environment is corrupting to the soul. Bad habits, unconsidered social norms, and negative views of "reality," that we pick up as we go through life, often impede our personal development.

By the time we reach adulthood, we all have accumulated beliefs that our culture imposes on us, including our views on money, pleasure, leisure, and entertainment. We may view minor inconveniences as a hardship, and fear things that are beyond our control. Even if our parents don't model this behavior, peers, the media, and the the culture at large often do. Living in society handicaps us in this regard.

Fortunately, developing a philosophical outlook can correct the effects of negative socialization. Musonius argued that “All of us are so fashioned by nature that we can live our lives free from error and nobly.” [1]

1 Comment

7 Behaviors That Lead To Lasting Happiness

4/10/2014

6 Comments

Recently I was posting on a debate forum that I frequent, when another poster asked me if I read Spanish. (I don’t but I’m working on reading Latin). The person’s question really hit home for me, because I realized that by spending time posting on a forum, I was neglecting goals that are more important to me, like learning Latin.

We all do trivial things which take up our time unnecessarily, deplete our energy, steal our focus, or detract from our relationships with loved ones. Wasting time is just one of many behaviors that lead to unhappiness in the long run, when we fail to achieve our goals, or regret the things that we didn’t do. Instead, we should be cultivating these 7 intentional behaviors, which contribute to lasting happiness:

1. Learn From Your Mistakes

Failures and mistakes are ok, as long as you learn from them. You fell in love with the wrong person? It happens. You failed to achieve an important goal? Everyone who succeeds fails first. You made the wrong choice regarding an important decision? At least you came away from the experience more knowledgeable than when you started.

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Be afraid of repeating the same mistakes over and over again. When you make a mistake or something goes wrong in your life, ask yourself, what can I learn from this? What does this situation have to teach me?

6 Comments

Breaking Bad's Secret Message: Actions Have Consequences

12/5/2013

4 Comments

Most people watch television to be entertained. AMC’s popular series Breaking Bad, is a rare show which entertains and does something infinity more important; it examines serious moral issues in grave detail. Vince Gilligan, the creator of the show, stated, “If there’s a larger lesson to Breaking Bad, it's that actions have consequences.”

The actions in question often relate to the downward spiral of the show’s anti-hero, Walter White, who after a cancer diagnosis, goes from ordinary high school chemistry teacher to brilliant and violent meth kingpin. While overtly a modern Western about science, drugs, and criminality, Breaking Bad is secretly a moral treatise.

Widely touted as one of the best television series of all time, Breaking Bad concluded in September 2013. The show has also been criticized for its grittiness, cynicism and lack of humanity. There may be certain times when viewers will inevitably feel cynical because the show accurately portrays human failings, consequences and the tendency for self deceit. All moral choices are human, but some are just not pro-humanity. The show's deeper purpose is to realistically explore overarching themes of moral choice, personal conduct, responsibility, self-deception, and karma.

Note: if you have not seen the entire series, there are spoilers below.

4 Comments

Forward>>

Fearless Parent: How to Raise Kids Using Stoic Philosophy

Creating Your Ideal Family Culture

Why You Should Create Your Own Culture to Be Happier

The Social Justice Warrior Paradox

4 Pieces of Stoic Wisdom For Dealing With Negative News Media

Solomon Kane: Must See Fantasy Flick About the Surprising Paradox of Nonviolence

Are You Suffering From Negative Socialization?

7 Behaviors That Lead To Lasting Happiness

1. Learn From Your Mistakes

Breaking Bad's Secret Message: Actions Have Consequences

About Me:

Most Popular Blog Posts:

Download My Stoic Printables For Tough Days:

Watch Common Sense Ethics On YouTube:

Support CSE:

Topics:

Archives:

Book of the Month: Journal Like a Stoic by Brittany Polat

Personal Growth Resources:

Understanding and Applying Stoic Ethics In Modern Life:

Follow Common Sense Ethics on Pinterest:

Join the Stoic Parents Facebook Group:

1. Learn From Your Mistakes

Don't Miss A Post!

Thank You For Subscribing to Common Sense Ethics!

About Me:

Most Popular Blog Posts:

Download My Stoic Printables For Tough Days:

Watch Common Sense Ethics On YouTube:

Support CSE:

Topics:

Archives:

​Book of the Month: Journal Like a Stoic by Brittany Polat

​Personal Growth Resources:

Understanding and Applying Stoic Ethics In Modern Life:

​Follow Common Sense Ethics on Pinterest:

​Join the Stoic Parents Facebook Group:

Book of the Month: Journal Like a Stoic by Brittany Polat

Personal Growth Resources:

Follow Common Sense Ethics on Pinterest:

Join the Stoic Parents Facebook Group: